Swiss Cheese Soul

It's 2:30 in the morning and I haven't slept a wink. I believe I am suffering from a Swiss Cheese Soul at the moment. You must know what I mean. When you're soul has taken a lot of hits during the day, and you're the one who has poked out most of the holes. Allow me to illustrate -

Hole #1:

I wrote my "To-Do-Before-Baby-Arrives" list and am totally overwhelmed with how I am supposed to redecorate, contact every long lost friend, and dust my basement in the next 21 days. And yes, I am partially serious. The dry wall men came today and did a fine job of hanging the walls downstairs. However, they did not hang plastic to protect the rest of the area. In the process we developed a lovely coat of fine white powder on everything from laundry room to wreaths, not to mention however much will move in upstairs with us.

But wait! That's not a very good example. Let me try again to explain SCS...

Hole #2:

I emotionally barfed over friends today while revealing a tad bit too much of how I was feeling at the moment about one or twenty or so situations.

Hole #3:

Ah yes, here's a big one -- I spontaneously handed over my quasi loved-hated position of leading my Sunday School class in the heat of a discussion. This ultimately should be a relief, but I am feeling more like I gave my puppy away. Will it miss me? Will I ever see it again? Pathetic!!

Holes #4, 5, 6 & 7:

My belly is so big it almost hurts to turn over in bed, my feet feel dry and no amount of lotion is helping, everyone in the WORLD is sleeping but me, and we have no more ice cream!!!!!!!!

Guess who is the center of her universe at moment and apparently has her fingers in a few holes?

Lord, please shine Your light through these goofy holes and fix what I have poked out. Better to be a window with your character shining through than just a blob of stink'n smelly cheese.

Dad's Stuff and the Dreaded Basement

I can count on one hand the number of friends who have actually been in our basement. It's usually under tight security and off limits for fear someone may suggest us to that TV show about hoarders. With our baby making the big debut in mere weeks, my husband and I have grown a few wild hairs! The craziness has driven me to finally clear out stuff, and the few hairs you might find on him have caused a giddy momentum which will end in the form of a playroom. (Are those angels I hear singing?!)

I remember thinking I was the bomb riding behind my dad on this.

Just picture little Kristin with knee socks & a long pony tail flying in the wind!

You are going to think I am nuts, but my dad's 1977 Yamaha motorcycle has been sitting in our unfinished basement for nearly 12 years. I know it's rather pathetic, but I couldn't junk the thing and I actually thought my sister and I might make a few tens if we sold it. As an executor of Dad's estate or even more likely, the proud owner of a once empty basement, I took in this childhood memento and "project" of my dad's thinking it would find a new home soon. I never dreamed I would get so used to it that it would not even register on my radar when I scanned the basement. Makes me wonder what else I intentionally overlook in my life?? Hmm... Another topic for another day. All this to say our friend David has HAPPILY adopted my daddy's motorcycle! Yay!! No tens in hand, but Dad would be happy and I can now rest in peace. (I know my highly organized friends are rolling in their graves!) Haha -- OK, I'll stop.

My sister also spent Saturday afternoon with me pouring through boxes marked with our names or "Dad". We purposefully avoided this job due to the tremendous amount of papers to go through -- boxes and boxes. It's been easier to avoid than tackle. However, enough time has passed that finding my dad's infamous "to-do" lists in his handwriting, calendars, awards, certificates, information on our childhood homes, etc. was actually fun! We even found dozens of our homemade cards we had created for him. To top off the treasure hunt, glazed ceramic bowls carefully engraved with our elementary school pencils surfaced after years of being shrouded in newspaper. My dad was so sweet to keep those on his dresser all the time they were in his possession! We sorted through boxes of books, found my sister's childhood diaries (talk about a HOOT!!), but the most tender part was finding Dad's pipes. Amazing how a smell can open the flood gates. The aroma of Captain Black's pipe tobacco brought back a ton of memories from camping trips to sitting on the front porch with him.

The hours spent sorting and pitching, sighing and laughing were a good thing for Aimee and I to do together, especially during Father's Day weekend. It even made all the storing worth the procrastination!

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Happy Father's Day!

Mommy, Caroline Grace, Jackson, and "Sandwich" love you so much, Daddy!

We are thankful for you!


"Sandwich" was nicknamed by the kids about 4 months ago when the baby was the size of a sandwich!
We don't know if it's a PB&J or turkey & cheese just yet.
We'll find out in 30 days -- July 20th!

Here is one of my favorite love letters: http://www.fathersloveletter.com/video.html

My Life and My Men

I had two dates today! Nope. It's not my birthday or even my anniversary, and they did not include my mom, thank you very much.

Date #1:
After my youngest boyfriend and I hit the specialty stores in the metropolis of Fork Union, he suggested we have tacos for lunch. Voila! There we were moments later looking at one another eyeball to eyeball in our cowboy themed booth just the two of us. I taught him how to handle his taco and eat over his plate, and he taught me that he can count to 5 in Spanish! Who knew?! Mucho gracias, Dora! My little Jackaroo and I need to get out more often.

Date #2:
You know you are (a) in a rural area, (b) desperate to get out, and (c) a parent in need of romance when you and your sweetie eagerly head to the Ruritan Lodge to hear a dentist speak, and you call it a date night. Picture the scene -- little concrete building, old fan from the '40s whirring in the background, ancient newspaper articles framed along the wall... The secret life of a lodge! Donald and I had the best time laughing at ourselves! The dentist is actually a dear friend and a significant number of beloveds from church are members of this Lodge, thus the invitation. Our friend Jay did a beautiful job presenting his practice and I'm really inspired by all the Ruritans do for our community. It was wonderful and thankfully, we didn't have to wear moose horns to get in. Donald and I nudged knees under the table, I had the company of the county's most handsome elderly men, all with a free ham dinner ta-boot! Always fun to feel like you've stepped into a novel of some kind.

SURPRISE! I've had over a year's hiatus and I have to admit I have not missed blogging. What I have missed is looking back on the past year and remembering all those precious details and highlights that fade all too quickly to the back of my mind. I can see where keeping a blog is a personal gift to moi, so I am trying desperately to get back into the groove of digital memory keeping.

It's funny how heart felt conversations can turn resistance around pretty quickly. I was sharing some serious convictions with good friends about how blogging can portray the facade of a perfect life. I am certainly guilty of putting my best out there and leaving the junk behind. I suppose that would be the point! If I kept an old fashioned album my sticky pages would not be holding the photo ops from my worst days. So that gave me some freedom to start up again. But, then I realized I only became a touch sensitive or maybe even competitive, thus my "convictions", when I spent too much time reading complete strangers' blogs and measuring myself to them. Oh Nelly!! I was allowing this trap to rob me from a personal joy. What a sucker! I do confess to enjoying my friends' blogs when I take a moment to indulge, but that's because I enjoy my friends and know their hearts. Anyhow, I am getting sidetracked...

So I have given myself some reasonable goals for diving in once again, mainly to stay on top of archiving our memories and capture this very important upcoming season in our lives. I also knew I was ready to write again when I couldn't sleep due to all the lists and comments and stories I wanted to record just from that week.

Ready, set... I'm jumping in!